I've never had much confidence in myself, let it be in performance or in sports. As a kid, I grew up being teased alot by my peers about my size and maybe that's the reason why I'm always the goalkeeper when it comes to playing soccer (besides the fact that I was lazy to chase after the ball.. hahaha).
Even when I was in the school's soccer team in secondary school, I was the second choice. When I'm in secondary 4, joined the rugby team, and again, I was always on the bench playing only about 15 to 20 minutes left on the clock. Ever since then, I never thought of doing team sports anymore. Seems like my best wasnt good enough to be in the first team. Tried out capoeira when I started out Polytechnic. Fell in love with that art ever since I watched Only The Strong when I was a kid. It's such a beautiful and graceful art. But after 6 months, other than the fact that I didnt have enough cash to pay for both capoeira and muay thai, I opted for muay thai. I suppose, I'm just not build for those kind of flying around with kick's kinda martial art. Been sticking to muay thai ever since... =)

I had my first ever performance with my first ever band called Blackrose. We played One Last Breathe by Creed. It was awesome i suppose. Cant remember about that event vividly. The next official performance was when we played Helena by MCR and Clairvoyant Disease by A7x. That year, when we played, the mic went dead half way through our second song. I resorted to going infront of the crowd and singing the part out loud. After that, I found a new band. At first, there 2 guys and 2 girls. They were called All That's Left. We played A7x and Killswitch Engage. For our first jam, we were awesome. Then, we played on and on. Members changed. The only ones that left from that line up is me and the Rasul; my faggot drummer. In late 2006 if im not wrong, we got our first performance infront of an empty crowd.. How pathetic is that.. Ahwell.. but 4 years on, we're still strong. Minor and major bumps here and there. Members come and go. Hoping to complete an album before i serve the nation though.

After all that, I can safely say I'd rather accomplish things on my own and have confidence infront of a crowd. But when it comes to girls, damn, am i sucha doofus. I finally added a girl I was fancied a long time ago. I saw her when we went to the same prefect convention at YISS. First time i laid my eyes on her, I felt like seeing the most prettiest girl ever in my life. But I never thought much about it till when i was in RP. I realise that she was in the same school as me! Damn was i excited. But I know my limits. In school, she's a diver in the IG and plays touch rugby for RP. And me? I'm a nobody. Fuck. Done with school, either go to the gym or make my way down to FightG. Damn, what a lousy life I had in Poly life! fuck! urgh! Too late to make amends for myself now since I'm heading for Ipoh for my second semester. Damn it. Ahwell. A word of advice to any new RP students; LIVE A FUN AND HAPPY LIFE IN POLY! DONT BE LIKE ME!! HAHAHHAA..
Anyway, I finally made an effort to make a first move on getting to know her. Saw her during the so call school's "fire alarm" exercise. She was wearing a red singlet with jeans... Fucking hot as hell..
Told Adam about her.. Tried my luck, and true enough, she accepted my request. Now the tricky part is to just start a decent conversation with her. Damn..

Other than that, I really need to tone down my body. Urgh. I've been working hard for this body for years ever since 2003!! I'm sooo close to getting it but yet so far in getting the results. Fuck you spare tyres! Fuck youuuu!! *plays ERIS's Beauty Is Skin Deep Song*
I really hope to get it all by the time I fly off to Ipoh. To make sure Im on track, I've set Wanderlei Silva, The Axed Murderer's picture as my desktop picture. He will soooo inspire me to train hard..


For now, I'm done..
I wonder if anyone will read this though..
Ah well... FUCK YOUUUU *ERIS's song Beauty Is Skin Deep plays in the background*


I'm done..
God fucking bless...